An Exclamation of Surprise
by Linorien
Summary: In which the knights and Merlin fall through a portal to Hogwarts and witness the students using wizard swears of the Merlin variety and are understandably shocked.
1. Chapter 1

Just think about it.


	2. Chapter 2: What you've been waiting for

**AN: We apologize for those of you who do not share our sense of humor. After writing the story, we decided to put up the first chapter and leave it marked incomplete because we wanted to see what would happen. The first chapter is a direct result of when two friends get together after having been apart for a long time and enjoy torturing both their younger siblings and their readers. Thank you to those who laughed with us and those who politely asked for us to put up our second chapter. Please enjoy the actual story.**

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An Exclamation of Surprise

Crazy stuff always happens in the forest. Merlin sighed and shook his head. He was tired and sore and had no wish to investigate whatever odd sound or object Arthur had just noticed, but of course his opinion was never asked. And he knew they would just end up in trouble like every freaking other time they did this. This was one time he wished he wasn't always right.

"You alright Merlin? That was a big sigh," said Gwaine.

Merlin smiled at him. "I'm fine. Just thinking."

"Well we know that's a problem. Be careful, Merlin!" Arthur joked as he dismounted to look around.

"Ha ha, very funny, sire."

"What did you see?" Leon asked.

"I thought there was a flash from over here. I want to make sure it's nothing before we move on."

Arthur was moving through the brush off to the left, slowly getting harder to see as the branches whipped back into place behind him. The knights had all dismounted by this point and were tethering their horses to follow. With another heavy sigh, Merlin followed suit. They followed Arthur as he stalked through the forest silent as a wolf. This was of course ruined by Merlin stepping on every other branch in sight. Arthur glared at his manservant, but soon they broke through the brush and looked down to find a glittering pool of water in front of them.

"You were scared of a pool of water, sire?" Merlin quipped. "Wow."

"Shut up Merlin! I wasn't scared, I was curious!"

"And that's why you still have your sword out."

"You can never be too careful out here."

"Yes. Which is why we should just keep moving!"

"Wait," Elyon said, squinting down at the pool. "There is something...glittering down there."

All of the knights pushed forward to get a look, Gwaine ending up jostling them all in his haste.

"Hey!"

"Quit it!"

"What are you doing?"

"Everyone hold still!"

Merlin watched as the supposedly grown men bickered. "Guys? That may not be a good idea. You might fall in. We should probably- Arthur? Anyone? Hey!" They naturally ignored him in their squabbling. All of the knights were leaning forward trying to see to the bottom of the pool when Lancelot spotted it.

"It's a...it's a...person!" Lancelot exclaimed. "A young girl in black robes. She's just...lying there."

"She must be under an enchantment. We need to help her." Arthur moved to get closer and accidentally tipped the precarious balance of knights. With a chorus of shouts, they all went toppling in; Merlin jumped forward to snatch at Arthur's cloak but missed by mere millimeters. The knights hit the pool with a splash. However, they all seemed to sink far too deep and far too quickly. When the pool began to glow, Merlin sighed yet again.

"Has to be a bloody magical pool," he muttered as he stepped forward and jumped feet first into the water.

In a tangle of limbs and cloaks, the knights fell from the sky and landed in a heap on the grass. Only a second behind them, Merlin fell from the sky to land, gracefully in a well balanced crouch, in front of them. He straightened and turned around with a smirk at the knights lying on the ground. Arthur glared.

"So, I guess this is your only not clumsy moment for the next few years, hmm Merlin?" He yanked his arm from under Percival to stand.

"Perhaps. It is interesting that it corresponds with one of you knights' far more common falls." Merlin turned to survey the grounds and ignored Arthur's growled response. They seemed to have landed next to the black-robed girl, who had awoken at the crash of armor and jumped to her feet. There were a few other similarly dressed children at various places on the lawn where they had landed. A large castle rose in the distance beside a large lake.

"Holy- What the- How did- Merlin's left nostril! Where did you come from?" The girl shouted, staring at them in shock.

Silence ensued.

Finally, Gwaine found his voice. "What did you say?"

"Where did you come from?" She asked again, drawing a - a stick?- from her sleeve.

"No, before that!" Arthur said, exasperatedly.

The girl seemed nonplussed. "I said...um...'Holy, What the, How did, Merlin's left nostril?' Why?"

"Why in the world would you say 'Merlin's left nostril?'" Lancelot seemed stuck between laughing uncontrollably and drawing his sword and firmly placing the tip at her neck.

"I don't know, it's a common phrase, an exclamation of surprise, a swear. A logical enough reaction to a bunch of people in armor randomly falling out of the sky."

"There is nothing logical about swearing by my nose!" the nose-owner in question exclaimed.

"I don't know, Merlin, it is an odd enough nose to be a exclamation of surprise, I think." Arthur smirked.

"Shut up, Arthur!"

"Wait - are you the Arthur and Merlin?" A boy nearby shouted excitedly.

"Umm. Yes?" Arthur said, unsure. After all, he only knew one Merlin and one Arthur so he didn't see the need for any differentiation between them and other people of the same name.

"As in King Arthur and his most powerful advisor Merlin?" another girl asked.

There was another beat of silence.

"Well, I am king, but Merlin is too much of an idiot to be any type of advisor, powerful or otherwise." Arthur drew himself up proudly.

"Prat," Merlin shot back.

"Dollophead".

"That's my word!"

"But it describes you so much better, don't you think?"

"Clotpole!"

"Oh, Merlin's beard, do you always argue this much?" The girl demanded.

"I don't even have a beard!" Merlin shouted as the knights dissolved into hysterical laughter.


End file.
